


Near-death Experience

by Myrkalfar



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Psyche - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23542618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myrkalfar/pseuds/Myrkalfar
Summary: After being shot in Flower on the High Loft, Fei Long experienced the Middle World. Space between the Living, and the Dead
Relationships: Mikhail Arbatov/Liu Fei Long
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	Near-death Experience

**Author's Note:**

> This is quite psychic but base on no religion. The knowledge comes from this book (Journey of Souls - by Michael Newton https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/104979.Journey_of_Souls), in which said we all have Inner Soul which contains all memory of all the lives we used to live, but we can only access it after we died. The author found this out when trying to use a special hypnosis technique to reach the hidden memories of those who used to have near death experience.

This life is a trip.

Well, every life is a trip.

Our Selves, I mean, our real Selves, are constant, and immortal. They’re called Souls.

We do have Home. Here, convenient, relaxing. Full of those whom we love, and those who love us. Sounds good? Not suitable.

Not for Souls that still young. No young people keep staying at home and home only for eternity, not to mention their parents gonna kick them out anyway.

So they all go out, get a ‘suitable’ body, choose a ‘suitable’ background, pick a country, a society and begin their trip. This trip is to learn and grow.

Learn and grow, which means it’s not gonna be easy. Everything you choose to start with has its own problem. Keep choosing a beautiful face with wholesome wealthy healthy happy life since born to dead and your Soul will never level up because you won’t learn a thing.

That’s why you have to choose ‘suitable’ belongings, not good belongings. Some will need to learn humiliation, to be humble, destroy their inner arrogance, so they chose an ugly face, and live with it. Once they can understand that people’s value is not defined by their appearance but by what they chose to do and how they behaved, they will pass the test, and return Here.

Some will have to go through bad family, poor background, low wealth, bad health,… On Earth, we never lack extremely crazy difficult tests. The harder the test you picked, the higher level your Soul would reach.

If-you-passed!

That means not everyone passed. Some changed their mind, some switched their ways, got lost, got abandoned, turned evil. Some just simply dropped the test, found some ways to stop breathing, turned back Here, admitted that 'I failed, I will start over later… or never'. That’s fine. That happens all the time.

Your life, your test, your choice. None would judge.

“When you left Here, you insisted on passing the Test of the Diamond Heart, to be with him one more lifetime. Then tell me son, why are you here?”

“I’m broken” The soul answered. He seems pale, surely haven’t calmed down after what happened yet. This is usual. Most of new dead Souls cannot get throught the misery of their mortal life and the pain of their death so quickly. They can’t even remember yet, that they are immortal and just went for a trip. Echo of the Pain, of course, made them think their horrible death ended everything they had.

“I can see that” The old man replied him. Nothing unexpected, he’s been through billions of these tests already. “And why are you broken?”

“I got harassed… sexual harassed. By my own brother. I got shot. By my own father. I was betrayed. By the one I love” He answered haltingly, his Soul formed the shape of his mortal body which was just dead. A beautiful one, with long black hair, and a lovely face. A bullet mark carved on his chest, right at the position of his heart, blood spilling unstoppably, dropping down his feet, faded to the void. This was a serious wound. The wound that killed.

“I feel for you, Dovah, but that’s part of the test.” The man showed sympathy with him.

“Dovah ?? …No. I am Fei Long” Fei Long showed confusion. The man in front of him has the look of Liu – his adoptive father, but something is not so right. He was like… too calm? He died not long before Fei Long did, not less painful than Fei Long was, and now he saw Fei Long here, how can he be so calm? Is he not hurt? Is he not surprised ? How can he look like expected this? And now he called his name wrong, what happened ? Is he even Liu?

“It’s the same, son. You always choose to keep your name, your eyes and your hair through all reincarnations. Although in every life you could be in different countries, languages, even races, but the meaning always be “A Flying Dragon”. They’re basically all the same”

“I don’t… really get what you’re talking about. Not that I care. You are not my father, are you? You faked his look? Why?” Fei Long now can be sure this is some… kind of joke? Look, his body is still bleeding and he still feels the pain, but the blood, the body, nothing feels real. He’s transparent, as light as a feather, and so is the man in front of him. And where is this? A blank space? He died, that’s clear, but even when he was dead, if anyone intended to set him up just to make fun of him, to confuse him, like an oldie bullying a new-dead-bie. They’re about to pay the price.

“No, I am not. I’m not your father. I am your Tutor.” The man stayed calm. Honestly he does not look like wanted to confuse him. “After each life, the Tutor be here to welcome you back. Usually the death is painful and panic-stricking, thus I shape into the image of whom you love, who could calm you down in these first moments after your Soul left the body. When you get over your mortal life’s memory and recall of your true Self, of what we’re really doing here. This will end.”

“Erm…Uhm?” Fei Long seemed both understand, and don’t understand.

“Are you still in pain?” The man shows caring.

“Yes… The bullet hit me. He told me to put my gun down and said I was to be safe but then… He…” The conversation took quite long already, but he still seemed like he was hit by the bullet just a second ago.

“You usually don’t take this long to get over the Echo” The man lightly shake his head.

“…?”

“Our Souls contain all the memories of all lives, all knowledge of all worlds and further. When we live on Earth, it hide deep inside and let the Mind take control. When we die, the Mind turns off, the Soul is supposed to regain its full power but sometimes the pain from mortal body along with hurtful memories leave convulsive echoes, prevent your soul to fully recover. Look at the way you’re shaping your soul to the shape of your mortal body, with the wound you just took, it seems you didn’t get over the pain yet, you may need some more time. It’s fine, no hurry.”

“I… got it. Actually, I don’t feel pain. Not the pain from the body. That’s my soul who is in pain. If I stop thinking of it…” Fei Long recognized this. The bleeding immediately stopped.

“You’re always a fast learner even you’re not fully recovered.” His Tutor praised softly. “If you can leave behind the burden of your previous life, and accept your failure, then we can start over.”

“Why not now? I really hold nothing back. That life was just terrible, everything’s terrible, everyone’s terrible, I…” Fei Long was never a man who like whining, but since his Soul is bare out here, without a body to hide, without a Mind to restrain, he can’t hold his true feelings like when he was alive. Here, we are all honest.

“Because you sill haven’t regained your knowledge yet. To me, you’re just like a mortal who first saw our Eternal Home, while in fact you’ve been here for a very long time, had many reincarnations. You can’t be considered as dead.”

“But I AM dead!” Fei Long went impatient. He doesn’t really understand all these stuff, he doesn’t remember who he really is or what memory he should regain, not that he cares. Death quits all scores. He only know that his f**king life ended, and he wants it to completely end. It was full of disappointment, disgracefulness, why look back? Why still wait? He would rather forget it all and reincarnate to another life and do whatever…

“No, you’re not.” A warm voice.

“Michael.” A name immediately appeared in Fei Long’s head.

But… where does that name come from? He’s never known anyone…

When he heard the voice, it just popped out.

“Mikhail, actually” Fei Long can hear soft smile in the voice replying him “But it’s the same anyway. I always keep my name's meaning, you know that.”

Fei Long turned his head. There is a… soul? Another one, moving toward him. As he reaching closer, he’s shaping into a tall, muscular body with…

“Blonde hair and Blue eyes” Fei Long smiles gladly while quickly moves to him “I know you. You don’t even need to done the shaping, I can reco… Wait, I remembered!”

Memories is like flood invading Fei Long’s head. He finally recalled it all. Who he is. Who these people are. The test he chose, the purposes of it. Everything.

“It’s lovely to see you children reunited each other in happiness after you both failed all your tests.”. Their Tutor calmly commented.

“No, Tutor. He didn’t fail, not yet. And neither did I” Mikhail laughed at their Tutor’s sarcasm and defended Fei Long. He then pointed to the vision he used his power to show.

“Fei Long’s body is alive. And so is mine.”

“They are too strong to die.” The Tutor got it immediately after seeing what happened in Earth. There're still breath, and heat in the bodies. Lightly, weakly, but still.

“Fei Long, you have a chance to return and compl…”

“No, I am dead.” Fei Long interrupted his Tutor.

“…”

“I told you, I need nothing there, I have no future in that life. The body which is fighting against death? Leave it. I don’t return, it will soon be gone.” He showed hopelessness very clearly.

“I am sorry, Mikhail. I know you reincarnated and redid this test just to help me, I’m appreciate that but I’m really tired. I… I just don’t want that life. If I went back, the mortal Fei Long would awake, he would remember nothing about these but only his story on Earth, where in he was betrayed and abused and left alone and… And he may have to take more of those in the future! Along with… with hate and anger, for years later. There would be nothing good. There is no reas…”

“Remember the reasons you picked this test, child.” The Tutor became severe. His student has a chance to pass this but he refused because of dark future ahead.

“Please, great Tutor. Give me a chance to counsel him.” Mikhail gently moved close to Fei Long and asked for his Tutor’s permission respectfully.

“Fine. I’ll leave you two alone. Then don’t forget to explain yourself why you’re also failed your test, Michael.” His Tutor argreed and left.

“Hah. Told you I didn’t fail.” Mikhail laughed while his Tutor’s leaving.

“Come on, dear. Reconsider.” Mikhail softly spoke to his love. His arm covered Fei Long’s shoulders, bring him remarkable warmth.

“I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Don’t think about it. Think about why you choose this in the first place.” Mikhail wanted him to recall the reason of his decision. Every Soul pick their test base on the path they chose to develop themselves. Fei Long and Mikhail are high level souls, who already passed so much more difficult tests compared to the rest. In all incarnations, people perpetually change. Their genders, their looks, their races, their backgrounds, their famlilies, their lovers, their haters,… Each life each difference. Nothing could be kept the same forever.

Except them.

For who-knows reasons, they have been lovers for centuries. Still they seem want to keep this way centuries more.

Coincide or not, they always know how to manipulate their lives to be together, especially Mikhail. He is one level higher than Fei Long with better cognition and awareness. Even in his mortal body, he can somehow be guided by what his Inner Soul is telling him.

Therefor, he knows best.

“I wanted to be with you.” Fei Long admitted. They always keep their typical signs of both body and spirit in all their lives, along with their name’s meaning, easier for their souls to find each other. But there are prices to pay, if they kept those good stuffs already, they have to take terrible stuffs for the rest. “I picked the Test of Diamond Heart to go through all kinds of damages to my heart, betrayal, loneliness, rejection, anger, hatred, and even more. If I finally overcome all of it, while still be able to sincerely in love again, with you, then the test is passed.”

“And we’re gonna be together forever, without paying more price.”

“But… I can’t find you anywhere. Why didn’t you show up? My mortal Fei Long mistaked a mortal man down There for the true love of his life, and this only brought even more damage to him. Wait… I forgot to ask but why are you here anyway? You’re dead?”

“Haha easy, my love. I still live. Remember I picked a terrible family? That uncle was beating me to death down There. I suffered this many times, but this time was too serious. My mortal body fell into deep unconsciousness thus released my Soul here. Then I went find you, I know it might not be easy for you either.”

“Thank you…”

“It turned out that we’re reincarnated into different regions, dear. It will take much time until I found you. I can’t just tell him to go to an exact address to meet you because the mortal body doesn’t held these memories when he awaked, and can’t listen to the inner Soul. But he does feel my existence. I’ll urge him until he meets you. He always feels the urge to head to the South.”

“Or… you don’t need to put that much effort on me.” Fei Long lowered his voice.

“Fei, are you telling me you quit?”

“…”

“I don’t judge, dear. It’s fine and alright if you feel tired. I won’t force you. What you’ve been through was… rough, really.”

“You passed this level long ago but you picked it again just to help me. And now I am quit…” Fei Long felt shame remembering the days he underestimated the difficulty of this test. He’s always had a pride that Mikhail and him were inseparable and they will find each other anyway, so how hard could this test be?

“That’s not a problem, Fei. Your Tutor would’ve done the same to help you if his role was needed. What He and I want you to reconsider, is the consequence. Your body still live. If you leave it to death, it’s suicide. You must eitheir drop this test forever or start it over. By starting over, that means you will go through exactly every single trouble your current life had, until you find another way to solve it. It’s not a sin, but it’s not a solution either. You see, it will just waste your time.”

“And by droping this test forever, you mean I can never meet you again?”

“…” Mikhail couldn’t find a proper reply. Simply, yes, that’s right. Their development paths are quite… different since Mikhail’s was the Soul that was born quite long before Fei Long’s was. This test is of Mikhail’s level so it’s a “little” too much for him. However, if Fei Long can pass this, their paths will get much closer plus the development of Fei Long himself will surpass most Souls of his age. He just can't say this out. It will sound like Fei Long must take responsibility for their separation.

“Um… Fei, what I did for you I did by my own wish. Don’t let my sacrifice be your burden. Just reconsider it for your own good, although so much suffering await…”

“Remember to tell the idiot down There to head to the South.”

.

.

There was a voice from Mikhail's vision of the hospital where Fei Long's body is staying on Earth.

"Doctor, he is awake."

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first writing ever and English is not my mother tongue so... I'm sincerely sorry if there's any mistake (surely there is). Please let me know your feeling. Any feedback, advice or anything. I do need to improve much


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